Carlos Matias

a love story about a man, his beard and their travels


I’m a byproduct of ‘90s hip hop and Saturday morning cartoons. I currently reside in the Bronx where I kill time during my long commute by making zines, writing stand up comedy and selling candy for my basketball team.

The only thing I enjoy more than food, music, and pop culture is weaving the three together.

You can see a chronological list of real jobs I’ve had here.

Things people have said about my writing:

Carlos reminds me of a young Bill Bernbach because they’re both from the Bronx. His writing though, not so much.
— Adam Locke, Creative Director, Code and Theory
We’ve decided to forward all of his pitches to spam
— McSweeney’s Editor
Carlos Matias is hands down one of the most talented writers of this generation
— My mom